My Work-Life Balance Solution? Do Only What Works for You.

Everyone seems to have a way to balance work and family life. Here’s what I think. I had a new baby and I decided to try to get back to work right away. I really missed my ambition and passion for what I do, and I didn’t want to fall behind or become complacent, so I endeavored to get right back to it barely a week after Baby was born.

I posted my excitement on Facebook and my bubble was popped with each comment expressing their surprise (and subtle disappointment) at my decision to jump right back into things instead of spending those special moments with my new bundle. They went something like this, “Wow, I’m surprised you’re not taking more time to be with your little guy.” Even my meeting invite acceptances were met with utter shock and comments about how I should certainly just stay home. While I know that people are generally well-intended, the guilt was flooding in. There were even a couple of meetings that I decided not to attend simply because I dreaded the judgement of the group when I got there.  

I felt the need to justify my decision by informing everyone of my accommodating work-from-home situation. We just finished renovating a room in the basement for my new home office (the old one became the nursery). I use a Moby wrap, so Baby is attached to me much of the time. We’ve purchased several products that promise to make baby care more convenient. It also helps that my husband is home and is perfectly willing to share the child care and household duties equally.

So lay off me!

All of that guilt and pressure was exhausting, and I know exhaustion. I made the choice to accept that I am doing the best I can however I can. I needed to take the stress off. After all, my family and my work are two things that I love overwhelmingly; why make them so stressful? I’m determined to have my cake and eat it too, and here’s how.  

I’ve decided, so what if I’m three days late posting my baby’s one month pictures? And so what if I had to go back and edit that post twice because I was operating on three hours of sleep when I wrote it? And by the way, I’ve learned to give myself more time when committing to a deadline with clients as well. Sometimes I even miss something, but I’m okay with occasional imperfection; I’ll make up for it when Baby starts sleeping for more than 2 hours at a pop.

Now I just do what works for me in the moment. I once had a boss who told me never to send an email or post past 8 p.m. Well I tried to follow that advice, but I couldn’t seem to get anything done and I started falling behind. So now my clients commonly receive emails from me at 2 or 3 in the morning (I really hope they don’t get noisy nagging email notifications on their cell phones; there are probably some spouses out there who are not my biggest fans).

I finished a grant at 4 a.m. the other day, and I regularly catch up on my social media while nursing at any hour of the day or night. A strict schedule is not something that works for me right now. And that is just fine. The moment I let go of some of my more rigid characteristics, I started to get a heck of a lot more accomplished. I seize every moment I can exactly when it comes, and not a second sooner. The pressure is off, and I am so on!